Me and my demon

You hide her

Behind the closet

And she fits there in that tiny space where I never look

So that I don’t see her when I’m home

So that she peeps on me when I’m naked

So that she peeps on your lips

Craving them, looking to touch them

 

And she laughs out loud sometimes

So loud that I think I’m going mad

Laughs at me

 

You hide her under the bed,

At night, she sneaks up on me,

And tries to strangle me in my nightmares

With her bArE hands

She tries on my clothes sometimes,

Comes to feel you

A coldness sneaks up on me,

Because you take all the sheets to share with her

 

You hide her under the table and

Sometimes, that devil comes to taste what I’ve cooked for you

I find her fingers all over my freaking food

And I wish the food chokes you instead of her

 

You hide her in my clothes

So that you can pull her out whenever you want

From under my bra

Or under my lingerie

And sometimes I feel a tickle on my skin

In my blood and veins

She possesses me, like a demon

Filling me with all these ideas

Of killing you, coldly

And later of killing myself

So that she can roam the house by herself

And dance on top of our coffins once we are dead

And on top of our pretty faces when they turn blue

 

Where are you hiding her when I can’t see her, my love?

 

I wonder what it is that you really want

What is it with her?

Is it her skin?

Is it her silk hair?

Is it her smooth hands

Or her white teeth

We were perfect together but

All you see is her, and not me!!!

 

I am filled with an emptiness

Like an unoccupied house

Where your love was

There is a sweet ripe juicy fruit of hate

 

I have never known hate

But you taught me hate

 

Your love is lemonade, bittersweet in the mouth

Choking me at first

And nutritious to the baby inside me

That lurks in the other end of the tunnel

 

I want to leave,

I want to run away,

I want to flee from killing the father of the one inside me

But now I can’t

 

What is it that you are doing to me?

I feel like a slave

 

How will I heal, from this hurt

 

How do we move forward?

And how are we supposed to raise this baby ,

This child of the sun and the moon

So that it does not hate

So that it does not despise

So that it does not discriminate

And how will I free myself?

From these tendrils that have blinded me

From this tentacles that will not let me be

From these chains that take away my spirit

 

Love

L-O-V-E

The same one that you took away from me

Because when it is real

It cannot ever be threatened

5 thoughts on “Me and my demon

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