How to Fall

There are plenty of reasons why one may choose to divulge in Kush. To forget. To remember. To forget what you have just remembered. To remember what you have just forgotten. To dare. To dream. To express oneself or to simply be. But mostly to forget, because we have to get rid of that which pulls us down and that which we dread. And humans are good at running away from things, as we have done so over the centuries. We ran away from our homes to go and discover another land somewhere else because our home doesn’t satisfy us. We ran away from animals in what we have justified ourselves as having a roof over our heads. We run away from our beautiful bodies and seriously look to cover it up with everything. And very recently, we have known how to run away from even the earth itself, and off to the moon. I’m hearing that soon people will run off to Mars. We run away from our daily lives and into virtual realities where we can start over our broken lives. And it is one of these reasons that I am here, in the backyard of Blinkie’s house, divulging in some of this Kush.

Its late in the afternoon, and the sun is laughing goodbye to us. There is no adult in around because Blinkie’s mum is busy somewhere else looking for a job. Blinkie’s mom had lost her job last week when the company she worked for decided to increase profits by getting rid of ‘baggage’. Don’t people learn tht in this economy, people can’t only survive on one cow. Because the cow will most probably grow old, and you will end up eating it and therefore you will not have any other cow to eat. Unless you decide to put on a cow suit and make love with the cow until you get babies. By which, God will become angry and strike you down because humans were not meant to phuk cows. That’s how to survive in this economy today. You have to phuk the cow. So since last week, Blinkie’s mother has been up and down photocopying resumes and cover letters in the cyber cafes. I once saw her being threatened that she should start her own cyber because she was using up all the paper in the cyber to print out her things.

“Can you imagine she told me that she would starts selling bananas on the streets!! What the hell is that! It’s like she has been possessed by demons!! I can’t have my mother running around on the streets like some low-ass mama-mboga! I have a reputation to maintain.” Blinkie told me one time. And that is why Blinkie was kicked out of school until he paid school fees, and that is why we are here today. Blinkie’s father on the other hand, never comes home from his ‘business trips’. He goes off to them often and sometimes comes back in the middle of the night. And goes off again even before Blinkie or his mother sees him.

Yesterday, Blinkie went into the toilet in her mother’s bedroom and took one 1000 bob note from the paper bag that was covered up in the little water flushing system that rests above the toilet. That’s how he gets Kush.

“Why do mothers have to be so open, like a book these days. I wish I had a mother like yours who stores important things in places where one cannot touch?”

“Which places Blinkie?”

“Mschew…Stop acting like you don’t watch those dirty videos under your blankets.”

I laughed

I inhale the roll.

Blinkie has a friend today. His name is Raul. And he is one of those ones – The type you never talk to, or ever want to talk to because you have nothing in common, and the only thing bringing you together is Kush, or a drink. They have certain characteristics; One: More often than not, they are not at the same intelligence as you. You are most likely the stupid one, and in some rare cases, the bright one. Two: They talk to you a lot as you share in your thing in common. Three: You never see them again, ever.

The things that you become, and the things that become you when you divulge are things to embrace. My eyes become a bit teary as I try to show Blinkie and Raul that I am good at this. Though Blinkie and Raul laugh at me because every time it goes in through my nose and out of my nose. And they say that I am wasting it.

A..pollo..stopo…los” Raul says. Blinkie explains to me that Raul says that every time he is high. That its supposed to mean “We are following Apollo to the moon”.

“Crazy shit man.” Blinkie tells me. “Tell us about Tina meen.” Blinkie wants to hear about Tina ever since I brought her up.

“We just danced together and that’s  it!” I said

Apollostopolos” Raul blurts out.

“C’mon man, we want to hear something that we can tell our children and grandchildren. We want to tell the story of a hero. Not some chicken who didn’t do anything.”

“Okay… Okay…” I give in

“A… pollo… stopo… los!!!” Raul is excited, and I can see that they are trying to bring their minds to my words right now.

“So there was this DJ Who was like kicking off, I don’t know what he was doing , but it was sick man. Like he was like Hands in the air…And then this cat walked in…”

“Wait, what the hell man, where is this going man…”Blinkie stood up and shouted.

“Let me finish the story man!!” I stood up too and said to him.

“A… pollo… stopo… los!!!”

“You know, not like a cat like a feline cat. Like a real like You know like. You know what I’m saying dog. Like cats and dogs. It was raining It wasn’t raining. We were raving. And I don’t know whether he was Really saying. And all he kept saying was…”

The speakers played the song Eat, sleep, rave, repeat. And we found ourselves just listening to it. We all lay flat on the ground, as the world began spiraling.


You are in another place

A hole

A black hole

A massive black hole

A hungry massive black hole

A hungry massive expanding black hole

And you are falling

You are falling down

You are falling up

You are falling slow

You are falling fast

Very fast


I see my shoes ran off of my feet! and I could see Tina in front of me. She had these horns on the corners of her forehead and wings! My belt unbuckles itself from my waist and slithers away like a snake! My shirt slides off my body and flies off like superman! I’m going nuts.

I knew I shouldn’t have accepted to divulge.

I hear Tina whisper to me: Go home…

4 thoughts on “How to Fall

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